With the ongoing story of this offseason between the QB derby going from starter, to backup, to who the Browns keep, I have begun to contemplate about what to do with “out-of-date” Cleveland Browns Jerseys.

Twenty one quarterbacks have taken snaps under center since Kosar for Cleveland. Well, really 20 but is there any question that Weeden will be 21? So while examining my closet of out-of-date jerseys I was stuck by an odd question. What the hell do I do with all of these Jerseys?

The first thing I did was attempted to donate the old QB jerseys to GoodWill or some other charity, however they refused to accept them. Apparently even the “less advantaged” have standards. I tried giving them away but with the same results. So if you are in the same boat I am, I have found some possible solutions.

First off, since there have been so many QB’s and other players since 1999 it is not that hard to simply replace the names. Unfortunately for me, my superstition does not allow me to do this. For example, if I were to replace “Anderson’s” name with “Weeden”, I cannot help but think his career will end up the same as Derek’s.

Another think you can do is cut out the letters and names and make a giant scrabble game or flash cards for your children. There are plenty of both to make it work. But I have narrowed down what I feel are the best uses for old Cleveland Browns Jerseys. So Maybe one of these will help.

First here is a list that didn’t make the cut.

·         Dish rags.


·         Cars Rags.


·         Steelers’ fans toilet paper.


·         A quilt. But nightmares would probably ensue.


·         Rags to clean the grill.


·         Kleenex’s

Honorable mention:

Even though many charities won’t accept the Jerseys I did find out that “The Center for the Blind” will take them. I guess they just tell their clients that the Jerseys are people like Tim Tebow, Payton Manning, or Tom Brady. They can’t tell the difference so they wear them with pride. Now normally I would never make a joke like that but since I am “legally blind” I can get away with it. So before sending me hate-mail just keep that one in mind. In a sense I am making fun of myself.

Car Cover:

If you can sew, or know someone who can you should have plenty of old player jerseys to create a car cover for you vehicle. It will protect you vehicle from the sun and rain but most importantly, any thief wanting to steal a car will ignore yours. Anything covered in Browns apparel would probably not be of any value to attempt to steal. Your 2011 Porsche will be safe because a car thief will assume that it’s probably a Dodge Dart underneath such an ugly car cover.

Cloth Diapers:

With so many people concerned about the environment the cloth diaper has once again become popular. Turning some old Browns jerseys into cloth diapers will not only save you money, but with the color of the material there is almost no chance of staining.

Home curtains:

This serves the same purpose as the car cover. No one is breaking into your home if they see Colt McCoy, Tim Couch, Jeff Garcia, and Trent Dilfer decorating you bay window.

Starter Logs for bond fires and fire places:

With a jersey and some rubber bands you would be amazed at how fast you can start a fire. No more need to go to Wal-Mart for a starter-log or lighter fluid. A Kelly Holcomb jersey works just fine. Plus it gives you a warm happy feeling in your heart.

A Halloween costume:

Many children dress as football players for Halloween. But in this case they wouldn’t just be NFL players, however they would be NFL players with dead careers. This is an easy costume which is also got that “dead” or “sad” feeling to it. To improve upon the costume put them in some sort of medical equipment as well like an arm-sling or crutches depending on the players jersey that they are wearing.

Rope:

Finally, not that I would EVER advocate this, but there is plenty of material to make a rope. And depending on how the 2012 season goes that rope could be very useful. Once again, not that I would EVER advocate such a thing, but I think we have all considered it at the end of every season.

So hopefully some of these ideas can help you out. Here at C.B.R and AFC North Report we would LOVE to know if you have any other suggestions.