Well, it’s official. The Cleveland Browns first rookie minicamp has just ended. The press got to get their first up-close look at the Browns rookie class, uniforms and all. The three biggest stories from the camp was that Brandon Weeden can throw. Richardson looks good and it appears he is 100% back from the minor knee scope. And 3rd round selection John Hughes will have to play a bigger role than anticipated due to the loss of DT Phil Taylor and his torn pectoral muscle. But looking back on the events over the past few days of rookie camp, I am really forced to ask only one question. Is there anything less important than the first rookie minicamp? Here’s a list of some finalists.

The Daytime Emmys:

The daytime Emmys come fairly close in comparison to the first NFL rookie minicamps in terms of importance. Even decades before when the “soap opera” was a daytime staple there was very little, if any importance on the daytime Emmys. The average daytime TV audience is roughly 1/10 of the primetime TV audience. And roughly only 1/5 of that audience watches the Daytime Emmys. In fact, I think those midnight infomercials get more of an audience.

Miley Ray Cyrus’s Twitter Account:

For one thing I have a somewhat jaded view of twitter. Despite having an account myself to tweet when a new article is released I am constantly amazed at the number of people that tweet simple nonsense. For example, “I’m at the movies”, “I’m taking out the garbage.”, “I’m watching the Daytime Emmys”. Are we as a society so fascinated with the mega popular that we actually care what they do from minute to minute? And not to pick specifically on Miley Ray Cyrus but I have actually heard radio D.J’s report her pointless tweets as news. Thousands upon thousands of fans hang on her every tweet. I would give you an exact number, but I couldn’t bring myself to look it up.

 The United States Penny:

This one is slightly odd, but if you really examine the facts you would agree with me. The penny interacts with the least manmade objects of any other item on the planet. The only normal machine that allows you to use pennies is the machines that actually roll pennies. The penny has no buying power today. Even a gum-ball now costs at least a nickel. People will tape found pennies to pieces of notebook paper and mail them to the treasury to help pay down the debt. In fact the majority of pennies manufactured drop out of circulation all together simply taking up space in a jar or sock-drawer of the average American. If we simply rounded off pricing, we could eliminate the penny completely. Besides, aren’t you sick of seeing .99 cents at the end of a sales-tag. As if we all don’t round up anyway.

The coffee house Tip-Jar:

I don’t want to mention any specific coffee chains (cough, cough, Starbucks, cough), but I fail to understand the sense of entitlement of a coffee house tip-jar. Obviously a piano player should have one. Street performers are another. But what does a kid at the counter do that entitles him to a tip. You are already charging me twice the price of a gallon of gas for my caffeine fix, why am I supposed to tip you as well. I guess if you don’t completely screw up my order or don’t spit in my cup you deserve a thank you, but that’s about it. But do you know who should carry tip jars? I think doctors should. They probably deserve an extra five spot every now and then, especially interns. Think of how many bowels an average intern has to disimpact each week. Ugh!

So there you have it my friends. Because other than getting a few photo ops, brief coach introductions, and a copy of your own playbook, the rookie minicamps really have no real impact. What do you think are more pointless than the first rookie minicamps? We want to hear from you.